Death is not Failure: #LifeandDeathMusings

We live in a society and an age where it is natural, common and even expected, for us to try to hold back the hand of death for as long as possible. We do everything in our power to extend our lives and to hold onto our time here with both hands and both feet.

I get it. Holding onto life is instinctual. We do it naturally. We understand that across religious, societal and economic boundaries, life is the most valuable thing we have.

I have a question however.

Do we truly believe that we can live forever? 

I think we do. And I think that we increase the stress and anxiety levels in our lives when we fight against the inevitable. The natural order of things.

Grief sucks.

Loss hurts.

I understand this all too well.

I also understand that we each deserve to meet our ends with as much grace and peace as we possibly can obtain. And to do so might mean letting go of the anxiety that comes with hanging onto life when it is naturally, purposefully and gracefully, bowing out.

Just because life comes to an end and you accept it for what it is does not mean that in your death, you failed. Death is not failure. It can be, completion.

The Architects said it this way:

When I leave this skin and bone
Beyond my final heartbeat
I’ll dismantle piece by piece
And I will know that death is not defeat
Holding on tight to what’s left of our time
We’ve hidden away, but it’s in the design
Why do we fight what we can’t define?
Don’t be afraid, we all cross the same line

Death is not Defeat, The Architects

#LifeandDeathMusings are random thoughts and lessons that I come across and learn as I navigate this world as a death doula. If you ever want to share a musing with me, feel free to email


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